People seem most motivated when they feel competent, valued, and in charge of their choices
Early note
This note rests on a short summary of self-determination theory rather than a case of my own, so it still needs a worked example.
Three feelings seem to drive motivation: feeling good at something, feeling that my contribution matters, and having some say in how I do it. If one is missing, enthusiasm tends to drain out.
The practical move
When I’m leading a group, respectful questions seem like the best tool. A good question lets the other person show competence, feel valued, and choose their own path at once.
Source and caveats
This draws on self-determination theory, which I know only from a short summary, so I’m treating it as a lens rather than a conclusion. I want to add a real case of my own and test whether it still holds when people are stressed or stuck.
